Communicating well is hard. Trying to get someone to understand what we’re really trying to say is really hard. It’s hard because we transmit meaning through words that are inherently lossy, but those words always compile.
The source code for a computer program doesn’t always compile. You have to encode what you mean in a very specific way with a specific set of words for the computer to accept it. And even then, the software might not do exactly what you want.
When we speak and write though, the words always compile. The person reading those words will autocomplete them to always come away inferring something. To the reader, it can feel like that something was absolutely what the writer wanted to say, even if it wasn’t.
Since words are leaky abstractions and can only approximate what we’re trying to convey, there’s some blank space between what is meant and what is said. The receiver’s mind needs to then fill in that whitespace when compiling the words to re-create what was meant. But what gets compiled can meaningfully distort what was trying to be conveyed.
Distortion typically gets corrected by adding context. In supportive environments, the speaker can clarify that they misspoke or listeners can keep asking follow up questions until they really understand. If you know the person talking well enough, you can infer what she actually means even if that’s not quite what she said. Long-form writing has enough space for the writer to provide nuance to contextualize what’s being said.
But in the public squares, forums and group chats of modern social media, you often don’t quite know everyone and can’t quite ask and say everything you want to. You’re exposed to more words, but since you’re given less context about those words, there’s more whitespace you need to fill in.
The words still compile though. There’s no error message that pops up and tells you to stop trying to form an opinion since there’s too much whitespace here. These are fertile grounds for meaning to get misrepresented in a way that the reader and writer never find out about. Multiply this distortion by many millions of people day after day and we get a bad case of Broken Telephone.
There are a few common causes of compile-time errors worth watching out for.
Purpose mismatch: The writer is, perhaps subconsciously, using words to boost engagement or for peer social support. The reader though, is looking for an accurate and rigorous framework to understand the world.
Frame mismatch: Words are used in the context of a particular cultural frame of reference. It’s often infeasible to describe the entire frame so there’s whitespace. Spending $100 on a meal might be reasonable or exorbitant. Endorsing “abortion” or “gun ownership” can signal different values to different people. The speaker and listener might be approaching the same words from incompatible frames.
Hallucinating intention: The reader sees words, meaning and intention that weren’t actually there due to their own biases or because their ego and identity were threatened.
Poor word choice: The writer doesn’t choose the most appropriate words to represent what they mean because of a limited vocabulary, fatigue, sloppiness or due to the constraints of the medium.
“Words strain,
Crack and sometimes break, under the burden,
Under the tension, slip, slide, perish,
Decay with imprecision, will not stay in place,
Will not stay still. Shrieking voices
Scolding, mocking, or merely chattering,
Always assail them.” — T.S. Eliot
We all benefit when personal sense-making is shared well since we are social creatures using a communal pool of language and meaning. When people understand each other well, they’re more likely to cooperate and work together towards common goals. Rampant distortion of meaning degrades this public good. It’s impossible to completely eliminate distortion of course, but there’s value in trying to reduce it to protect the commons.
Some perspectives to consider:
Forming opinions: Not having an opinion about everything and holding off forming one if the source material isn’t carefully reasoned.
Injecting nuance: Content gets a boost in distribution and engagement if it removes nuance and adds conflict. Deliberately arousing an audience with hyperbole and conflict to increase engagement is benefit without responsibility and degrades the commons.
All we see is not all there is: Curiosity and grace as the only viable long-term strategy to communicating well. Seeking out different perspectives with an open mind to fill in missing context. Empathy and forgiveness when your words are inevitably compiled the wrong way.